the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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