I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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