Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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