i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
