Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
