it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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