I wish i was in the wii world.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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