What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
