I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
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I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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