my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
