On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
