By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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