My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
