I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
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