finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
