dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize