I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I just had sex on a roof
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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