butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
