girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I need moral support for this bender
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
