Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
