So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
