who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
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Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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