Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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