i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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