Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
third nipple confirmed
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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