ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
