90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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