I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize