Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She bit a glass in half.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
