my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
