i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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