we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
