this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
