new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
