I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
