I wannas sexs uuuuu
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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