Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
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