I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
