Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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