somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
