Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
