took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
