Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
