She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
she was so not down for the gang bang
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
