A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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