Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
