I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
