So drunk its hurt
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I think people are normalizing furries
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
