I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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