What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
