Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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