Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
