How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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