were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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