the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
3 2 1 whiskey
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize