if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Randomize