i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
