She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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