If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
