You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
