piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
