Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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