you turned your livingroom into a bong?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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