So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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