I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
